#it makes me so fucking angry and so fucking sad

[angelicqsa]

⋆˚࿔𝜗𝜚˚⋆ 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗧𝗼𝗼.

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 | 𝖱𝖺𝖿𝖾 𝖢𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗋𝗈𝗇 𝗑 𝖱𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 | 𝖸𝗈𝗎 𝗐𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝗅𝗐𝖺𝗒𝗌 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗂𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝖱𝖺𝖿𝖾, 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖺𝖽𝖽𝗂𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗆𝗈𝗌𝗍𝗅𝗒. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘶𝘱𝘴𝘦𝘵.

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 | 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿, 𝖺𝖽𝖽𝗂𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇, 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝖿𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌

𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨 | 𝗆𝗂𝗌𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝗒𝖺𝗅𝗅 <3 𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝖺𝗅𝗌𝗈 𝖻𝖾𝖾𝗇 𝗈𝖻𝗌𝖾𝗌𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗋𝖺𝖿𝖾..

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

────────────˚🦢・₊✧⋆⭒˚｡⋆────────────

Rafe has been your best friend for years. You two spent your youth years with one another. Anywhere you went, he went. That was just how it was with you two. Until you both started getting older, when he was just 15 he got introduced to drugs that were less harmful and addictive like marijuana. But as time progressed, Rafe was introduced to crack which made you constantly worry about him and his lifespan.

The first time you had actually snapped and got angry with him was senior year, he had just came from the bathroom with crack residue under his nose. You felt as if he was willingly throwing his life away and trying to get in trouble, especially because he was doing the drugs in school.

"Rafe! are you seriously doing that stuff again!? We are in fucking school! How reckless and careless can you be?" You whisper yell to him as you pull him out of your class.

"Chill out... its just fun" He says with his head all the way in the clouds.

You look at him with disappointment and shake your head. You always cared for Rafe. You were probably the more responsible one.

"Dont you care about school? Graduating?" You whisper yell, getting more furious as time progressed. All Rafe did was nod off and walk away. You felt your heart break a little per step he took. He was careless, reckless. And yet you were always there to try to help and pick up the pieces. You loved him, you would do anything for him. But you knew that he wasn't what you needed at the time.

"Rafe! are you home?" You say as you put groceries on his marble counter, you've gotten used to grabbing Rafe some groceries when you go grocery shopping. Three years later, here you were waltzing into Rafes house he got a few months back, and he immediately gave you a key, the first day he moved in. You felt special, you felt important.

You hear nothing but silence, which was weird because you were pretty sure you saw his white jeep in the driveway.

You decide to look around for him wondering if he fell asleep or maybe was busy. You venture through the living room and dining room and make it to the stairs. You then hear a faint beat, and faint music playing.

"RAFE!" You yell his name attempting to get his attention, but you figure the music is to loud and walk up the stairs you start to approach his door which is shut.

You open the door and start saying "Rafe Cameron i kno-" You get cut off by the scene you just walked into.

It was Rafe mid line sniff. He looks up at you with panicked eyes and rush to his phone to cut the music off.

He sniffs and wipes his nose before looking at you. You had so many emotions, anger, sadness, disappointment. Rafe hasn't done used in a while, he's been clean, happy, normal. You didnt know what changed but you were upset and started yelling.

"Rafe! are you shitting me right now!? are you seriously using this stuff again?? I thought you were done Rafe! I thought you changed." You start yelling whilst throwing your hands in the air like a mad man. You cared for Rafe, you valued him and would do anything for him. Deep down you knew it was a little more than that.

"Jesus christ Y/n, can you please shut up with the yelling." He mutters.

"Are you serious Rafe? your fucking concerned with my yelling? you need to be concerned with your safety! you know fucking with that shit can end up bad! you've seen it first hand!" You scream at him. Rafe had turned into a complete psycho when he was heavily addicted. After his dad 'died' he spiraled, and who was there to help him? You. So you knew everything that had happened and you knew the demons the cocaine brought out of him.

"Y/n, shut the fuck up! chill out and mind your damn business. You dont know what the fuck you're talkin' about." He spits at you with aggression. You look at him with wide eyes, how dare he act as if you weren't there, and to chill out?? worst thing to say to a girl while she's mad.

"I dont know what im talking about!? Rafe i was there when Ward 'died' and you spiraled! I've always been here!" You yell at him with anger and you shove his shoulder.

"Just because you weren't able to fix your dad, doesnt mean you have to try and fix me! stay the FUCK out of it." He grits out. You gasp and your eyes widen, Rafe hit a low, a very dangerous one. Rafe had never talked to you like that, even when he was high out of his ass, still he'd never disrespect you like that.

Your dad had been addicted to cocaine and overdosed off it. You had never been the same, walking into your house and shaking your dad desperately, trying to wake him up.

"Dad! Dad look!" You wave your princess crown that you just had gotten from a musical you and your mother just had went to see with a huge smile and metal along your teeth, your mother was still grabbing her purse from the car, you wave the crown in the air. No response. "Dad..?" You see your dad turned on his stomach on the couch.

You place your crown on the end table and run over to the couch and shake you dad, eager to show your new prized possession.

One shake...

His limp body returns to it original position, showing no sign of him waking up,

A second shake

He still doesn't wake up, and his body remains there. Usually after the second shake your dad would wake up, he wasn't usually a hard sleeper.

You start to panic and shake him really hard, "Dad..?" You keep shaking him and start to scream his name.

Your mother hears the scream and runs inside the house, "Y/n, honey whats wrong?" She says with wide eyes rushing to you and your father. Your mother had an idea that he was using some kind of drug, but she never knew it was that bad.

You still remember the waves, the ocean, the smell. Everything from that day.

You also remember the day you told Rafe, you broke down at the beach after faking and walking around like everything was okay, when really it wasn't.

Rafe held you close to him and rocked you while you cried, you held onto him like he was gonna leave next. The days after that, he came and visited you and your mother, inviting you guys to events with his family, somedays staying over one night and one night sometimes turned into 3 nights. Your mom never minded.

Your eyes start to water as you just stare at Rafe, still in disbelief from what he said. You shake your head and shove him harder than before. "Fuck you Rafe! I never want to see your face again." You said with a tight jaw and tears streaming down your face. You then storm out of his room and slam the door, you practically run downstairs and out of his front door and jump into your car.

That was about a week ago, now you had been ignoring every single call and text from Rafe. Speaking of the devil he just texted you.

You just ignore his messages and continue eating lunch with your mom.

"Mama can you pass me the pepper please." You mutter to your mom.

"Sure thing, what's up with you lately? You havent looked.. happy." She says as she hands you the pepper. You just look down at your food, trying to conjure up the words but you were unable to. So you just shrug your shoulders.

"Don't lie to me Y/n, your my daughter, i know you." She reaches over the table and grabs your hand and looks at you, "Please, whats going on honey."

You feel it all come out and shatter in front of her, "Me and Rafe got into a horrible fight," You sob and wipe your eyes, "I caught him using and c-confornted him! t-then he brought up dad and... h-he said.." You sigh and look at your mom through your tear kissed eyes, then you whisper, "He said.. just because i wasn't able to fix dad doesnt mean i should try and fix him.." You say and more tears run down your cheeks.

You mom looks at you with widened eyes, astonished. She shakes her head and says softly "He wasn't in his right mind, you know he didn't mean it".

"Doesnt mean it didnt hurt mom!" You say through you sniffles while wiping your tears.

"I know you're hurt, hell i can't even believe he said that.." She says while looking at me. "But sometimes when people are hurt, or feel hurt, they say anything to hurt someone else. Doesn't make it right, but maybe he's going through things to. Take that into consideration and think for some time, Rafe has been your friend for years, im sure he would never mean such a thing."

You nod at your mom and say "All i wanted to do was help him, help someone i care about you know? and it blows up in my face.. I-.. I love him a lot mom.. i just dont know what to do.. ive just been ignoring him, but i never found out what was the cause of him using."

Your mom nods at your words and smiles, "I always knew you two had a thing for each other."

"I doubt he feels the same way, he looks at me as a sister, but thats besides the point. I just need time from him.." You say with your gaze facing the ground.

Your mom nods and gets up and walks next to you then gives you a hug, "Dont let him go completely, at least try, try to be there, try to help, youve been doing it so continue doing it. Dont make the same mistake i made with your dad.." She breaths and you see a tear drop down her cheek, "Dont try and ignore it, make sure he gets the help he needs before it to late, one day you see him and the next.. he's cold and lifeless." She whispers.

You feel your heartbreak even more. You knew your mom felt guilty about your dad's death, she felt that she could've done more and that if she did, he would be alive still. It's all too much..

You help your mom clean the dishes and bid your goodbyes and thank her.

You walk to your jeep and sit there for a moment, Rafe, your dad, everything was just a lot, you wanted it all to go away. You wanted peace, you wanted everything to be good again, in a span of a week shit went downhill and fast. You wish you could go over to Rafes and just cuddle with him and watch movies, that's what you always did when you were stressed. But your mad at him so you start your car and drive to your house.

──𝗥𝗮𝗳𝗲𝘀 𝗽𝗼𝘃.

7 days, thats how long its been since ive heard her pretty voice. I have no idea what i did. I remember bits and pieces, me.. using.. she caught me and there was a lot of yelling but thats all i remember.

I've been texting and calling her nonstop, voicemail. Thats all i've gotten. I miss her, so so much. I just want to fix this, whatever this is between us.

I sit at the wreck and Topper comes and pulls up a chair. "What up man? You seem down.. everything good?" He says.

"Fine man." I mutter to him as i take a bite of my fry.

He nods "Its Y/n, isn't it." He says.

I freeze at her name and look at him, he then says "You always wear that look when your upset about something pertaining to her." He smiles, "You two are somethin'" He then proceeds to call a waiter over and order his food.

I give him a tight lipped smile, do i really wear a certain look when i get upset about somethin' with her?

Topper finishes ordering his food then says, "So you gonna tell me whats going on?"

I contemplate on telling him, sometimes he's a blabber mouth especially when he's drunk. But i need someone to talk to, i need guidance and i guess i gotta get it from him..

"Well she's been ignoring me for about a week now, i just.. i dont know what i did.." I say while running my hands over my nearly bald head.

"Well when's the last time you two saw each other?" He says.

"Well uh.. she came to my house, brought me groceries..she then uh saw me using.. and you know how she feels about me using it but i-.. i was having a really hard day. We had a yelling match but i don't exactly remember the words, it all kind of blurred, i was high out of my mind. Next thing i know.. shes ignoring my calls and messages." I say releasing a big breath, that was a whole lot to explain.

Topper raises an eyebrow and nods "Have you ever thought that maybe.. you said something..?" He looks at me. "No offense but your anger reaches a new high when you're on that stuff"

I soak in his words for a minute. Maybe i did say something, and that something had to be absolutely horrible for her to ignore me like this and for this long.

Did i talk about her insecurities..? probably not. Shes perfect so i dont look at them as something she should insecure about.

There one sensitive topic that couldve made her this upset..

Her dad..

I'm really hoping i didn't say anything about him, knowing everything her and her mom went through. I was there for her, then i throw it in her face? i would be a fucking horrible person.. I really fucking hope i didn't do that.

That cocaine shit is really messing me up, now its messing up my relationships. Relationship. Y/n is so important to me, the girl of my dreams really. But i'm too fucked up for her, she doesn't need me.

"I think i fucked up really badly Top..really badly." I say in shame with my head down. How could i be shitty to her? after everything she's stuck by me through..

"Its okay man, as long as you own up to it and talk to her, things could end up fine." Topper says while patting my shoulder.

"Go talk to her Rafe, get clarity, own up to it and be honest. Its about time you two be honest with each other." Look at Topper finally being helpful, actually providing guidance.

"Thank you Top, you've helped a lot."

I get an idea and quickly excuse myself and hop in my car.

──𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗼𝘃.

You arrived at home a couple minutes ago and was sitting in your couch with a tub of ice cream and your cat on your lap. You were watching 10 things i hate about you and you were at the part where Kat and Patrick were at the party and you hear you doorbell.

You press the pause button on your remote and groan. Who could be at your door right now? you told your friends not to come over and you already had seen your mom earlier.

You open the door and reveal Rafe standing there with his head down.

You roll your eyes, not wanting to deal with anything pertaining to Rafe right now.

"Why are you here Rafe?" You ask with anger laced in your words. How dare he show up at your doorstep? he couldnt have waited until you were ready??

"Can i come in please?" He asks desperately. You feel sort of sad seeing him so.. desperate. But then you remember his harsh words and that sadness fades away. You step over as a way of telling him to come in.

"Why are you here?" You repeat with less anger than before. He walks to your island and sits on one of your stools, you do the same. And you know now is the time to face it, face all the pain. Finally get it all out.

"I-.. We need to talk." He says, you open your mouth to speak but he beats you to it and says, "Could you please listen to me for a moment..?" You nod and let him continue.

"I-.. I know im not the best person, hell i still dont know why you stick it out with me. But you are always there for me, you are my person, the person i go to about any and everything, i value our friendship so much its.. its more than a friendship. But i treated you shitty the other day, i just know it. I dont know exactly what i said but i know it hurt you really bad. I hurt you.. something i never ever wanted to do. After seeing how you were after your dad died, i vowed from that day on to put nothing but a smile on your face and to always look out for you. Im-..Im so sorry Y/n, i know i dont deserve your forgiveness but you mean everything to me and i'll do everything in my power to make it up to you." He finishes with tears in his eyes while also heaving after saying so much.

You didnt know what to feel, you felt all over the place, you wanted to cry, scream, kick him out, hug him all at the same time.

"Rafe.. I.. you hurt me.. you brung up something that still haunts me to this day.." You say while tears start to form in your eyes. He begins to open his mouth to speak, but now it was your turn to cut him off.

"But.. i cannot hold a grudge against you.. you're important to me to, all i want is for you to get the proper help Rafe, you really need it whether you like it or not. If there's anything you can do.. do that. I don't want to see you end up the same way my dad did.. " You stand up and walk close to him and settle between his legs and in front of his chair, "I dont want anything to happen to you.." You lay your head on his shoulder and wrap your arms around him, you both share tears.

"I promise you, ill go to rehab, get the proper help i need. Stop hangin' around people who dont want the best from me." He says while looking down at you, deep in your teary eyes.

"I hope so Rafe.. I hope so. Just please, dont hurt me again ill be a wreck like i have these past few weeks." You say while chuckling at the end, you felt relief, you and Rafe were back on good terms. You've missed him so much wanting to cuddle him, until you remembered why you were mad at him..

"I won't hurt you.. never again." He says while putting his forehead on yours, you both close your eyes with smiles settled on your faces. Peace is what you felt. Happiness, is what you also felt.

"Ive missed you so much" He whispers and you open your eyes and look up at him and whisper, "Oh yea? ive missed you to."

He smirks and shakes his head, "I was going crazy over you girl, i even went to Topper for advice which is.. really rare.."

You giggle and throw your head back, and smirk "You were so desperate you went to Topper..? would you look at that"

He smiles and pulled you closer, "You wanna know somethin' he told me?"

Your breath hitches at how close the both of you are, you've been close like this before but.. something different was in the air.. desire, desperation. You then whisper "And what was that..?"

He then says "He said that it was about time that we were honest with each other." You look at him confused, you were always honest with him.. was he not always honest with you?

"Are we not always honest with each other..?" You say tilting you head, a little nervous at the answer you might get.

"Maybe.. but i know i haven't.. these feelings i have.. its so much. I honestly feel like i fell for you, like im..in love with you." He says slowly, a little nervous.

You feel butterflies and your nervousness disappears and is replaced with a warm feeling, you then say "Im in love with you to.. always have been Rafe. Its always been you."

He smiles and you both look each other deep in the eye, then you decide to close the space between you two and kiss him, you both kissed each other passionately with a bit of hunger behind it. You smiled into the kiss and felt him smirk. You just couldn't believe what the hell was happening. Just about an hour or two ago you were crying over him to your mom, and now he's in your kitchen kissing you.

You pull away first for air and stare at him with a big smile on you lips, he looks at you with a smile also.

He kisses you again more hungrily and a kiss turns into a full makeout session which was well needed after all the time you two had hid your feelings for one another.

He picks you up and gets out the chair and walks you two over to the couch, not breaking the kiss. He sits and you settle on his lap and pulls away for air.

You put your forehead against his and say "I love you Rafe." You smile hard, happy you're able to finally say it.

"I love you too Y/n." He kisses you again, and then he says, "You know your mine right?"

You giggle and nod and cuddle into him and press play on your movie and finish your tub of ice cream with him.

The next morning you both get up and look for rehab facilities together.

This was just the start of a future.

﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ

𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘛𝘰𝘰 ୨ৎ

ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐яєqυєѕт!

────────────⋆˚࿔ 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐪𝐬𝐚𝜗𝜚˚⋆───────────

[ghostofhyuck]

NCT Dream and the look of love.

Mark Lee

Trust that Mark's the type who'll just be lost by just staring at your face. He loves every detail of your face that he had engraved it on his mind. He loves how your eyebrows dance like it has its own body, he knows if you're happy, sad, or angry by just looking at it. Or maybe he knows where your beauty mark is and he automatically aims at it for a kiss. Barefaced, with makeup on, or even when your makeup's melted, he had engraved it all in his memory. "Mark?" "What?" he automatically replied, realizing that he's been staring for too long. You only let out a laugh, "nothing, you're staring." "Well, can't help but to admire my girl." 

Huang Renjun

Renjun looks at you like you're the last existing person in this world --- in his world per se. He just stares at you with much fascination as if it's just the two of you alone in that room. Everything is just blurry, he couldn't hear any other noise except your voice and laughter despite being in a crowded room, and that's just pretty sums up how much Renjun loves you. "Renjun!" the man snaps out when he felt a smack on his arms. "Hey! I've been calling your name for an hour, what the fuck man?" Haechan angrily said. "Sorry, didn't hear you there, I was talking to yn." his friend could only rolled his eyes because he just witnessed Renjun's whipped moment. 

Lee Jeno

Everyone thinks that Jeno looks at you lovingly when his eyes disappears, but those are just during the light-hearted moment, during the cases where he can feel his heart jump in joy because of you, along with the soft laughters and endless teasings. But Jeno looks at you lovingly when you're oblivious by it. When his eyes were gazing at you wide yet soft, and gentle but you don't know that because you're used to his eye smiles. It's the type of look that will make him think, "damn, I really got myself lucky with you." without looking away.

Lee Donghyuck

You're used to Haechan's mischievous and playful side that it always surprise you whenever he stares at you with a softer gaze. Childlike stare as if you're a fragile thing, accompanied with actions that are also soft like the way his hands slide onto yours or the way he brushes your hair without breaking the contact. You know that he's whipped but you couldn't help but to laugh, ruining the sweet atmosphere. "What, why?" your boyfriend asked, confused. "Sorry, I'm just not used to you being sweet." you confessed. "What!? I can be sweet!"

Na Jaemin

When Jaemin looks at you, he'll just be in deep to it that he doesn't realized that he's not blinking at all. He can't help it! What if at the blink of an eye, you're just out of his sight? He won't let that happen! That's why he'll just admire you for so long and he doesn't even realized that he's not blinking at all until you snapped him out of it. And as he blinks, tears formed from his eyes and as he opened it, you're there looking at you with worried. "Have you not been blinking at all?" you asked, a bit appalled. He only smiled, "Can't let you out of my sight." 

Zhong Chenle

Just like Jeno, Chenle will be the type that when he stared at you, he'll be like, "she's my girlfriend? you're kidding me right?" he'll be eyes wide, mouth a bit open because he just couldn't sometimes fathom that you exist and you're his girlfriend. He'll be taken aback by that fact that he has to sink in all those thoughts while staring at you. You raised an eyebrow at your boyfriend's expression that you snapped your fingers in front of him. "Are you okay? Do I look weird?" you asked. "No! Of course not! It's just --- you're beautiful. Damn."

Park Jisung

Jisung looks at you the same way he looked at you the first time he saw you. A bit surprised expression but this time, he has a smile on his face because he knows that you're his girlfriend. He looks at you with much admiration that it is painfully sweet for others, because in his point of view, you two are like in a film where everything is just moving while you two are staying still. "What's that look?" you teased. "What look?" he asked, but there's a smirk on his face. "You know what I mean Ji." 

[cherubcameron]

Love Espresso

Chapter four: Hide & Seek

Synopsis: after her breakup with Rafe and him kicking her out. Her best friend offers her a new job and a place to stay. But when Rafe comes back from Morocco. He realizes he’d made a grave mistake. Will Sofia go back to him? Or will she decide that her new life means more to her than him?

Authors note: my obsession with tj maax will transcend into my fics 🙂‍↕️

Yo te cuido y tú me cuida, nena

Rafe could feel Sarah’s eyes as she watched him. He’d let Sarah and John b settle into his house. Until they got “their shit sorted.” As he would put it. —Wheezie lived with him permanently, they’d managed to get her free from Rose’s grasp. Wheezie was currently in school, so he was stuck with Sarah and John b.

“Rafe?” Sarah asked, Rafe glanced up at his sister. He was about to take a sip of his gin.

“Yes? You’ve been staring at me for like five minutes. Out with it.” Finally taking a sip of his gin, it burned his throat just the way he liked it.

“I think you should talk to Sofia.” It slips out of Sarah’s lips quickly, like she’d had them yank out like teeth.

“Don’t you think I know that?” Rafe says, clinching the glass like a vice. His heart was hurting, he hadn’t slept properly in days. At first, when he’d found out what Sofia did. He’d been angry beyond belief. But once it had subsided. The horror of what he did came to bite his ass.

On one hand, he was still angry she was apart of the reason why he was scammed 400k. But he also eventually got all that money back. The other, he knew her too well. He knew she wouldn’t have done something like this unless provoked. So what had he done for her to do this to him?

“I can see it’s eating away at you, Rafe. You’re upsetting me and my unborn child.” Sarah rubs at her belly, Rafe knows she’s joking but he still rolls his eyes.

“My bad, my mopping can be felt by a unborn baby. You hear that! Uncle Rafe is a fuck up!”

Rafes mini outburst manages to spawn John b.

“Hey now, no curse words around the baby.” He says, pointing at Rafe. Rafe puts his hands up in surrender.

“My fault…” Rafe lets out a sigh, Sarah gives her brother a sad smile.

“You don’t have to beat yourself up for it, Rafe.” John b stood in the hallway, confusion spelled across his face.

“Uh, so I—.” John b quickly walks off, not trying to pry in Rafes business. Rafe scratched his arm, sitting his gin down.

“I just—I don’t know if she’ll let me back in. I know her, okay Sarah. I know she wouldn’t do something like this unless…” He runs his finger around his glass of gin. “Unless I did something.” He mumbles.

“Then make it right. Do good by her. Find out the truth. You owe it to yourself and her.”

A part of Rafe can’t believe there was a time where Sarah wasn’t in his life. How different, things could have been. He finally nods.

“You’re right, I just need to find her and talk to her.” Sarah gives him an encouraging smile.

Sofia grabs one of her pink glasses; she’s brought from tj maax. She drank from the straw, her eyes watching the tv. Tonight, was her day off. From both her receptionist job and at Cozy Corner Brews. She sighed, Liliana entered the room. A plate in her hands.

“I’m nervous, do you think Jackie has it all handled?” Liliana says, placing the plate on the coffee table.

“She had a notepad full of things she was ready to do. I think your shop is in good hands, babes.” Sofia says, moving so Liliana had space.

“I know but I just don’t want her to feel all this pressure to make it perfect.” Liliana says, biting her nails. “Plus “Love Espresso” has been successful and what if someone wants it. Like really bad and Jackie tells them they can’t have it and—

Sofia puts a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “I think you’re overthinking this. It’ll be fine. She just needs to take it off the menu and it should be fine. Jackie is a smart and competent girl. She’s got this.”

Liliana slacks a bit, breathing out air. She begins to nod.

“Yeah, you’re right. This is just the first day I’m not closing the store. I just hope it’s not too much.” Liliana says. Sofia nods along to her friends words.

“You need to remember you need a break too. Plus, you saw Jackie’s resume. She’s had experience with this kind of stuff. Just trust her.” Liliana finally sits down comfortably on the couch.

“Jackie is very capable. Yeah.” Liliana says to herself. “Okay fine. But if she needs anything—

“You’re a call away.” Sofia says. Liliana looks over at the tv. Then begins to relax into her seat. Sofia laid her head on her friends shoulder. A feeling of contentment filling her.

Thanks to the help of Barry; Rafe found Sofia. At least, where she worked. He entered the decent sized coffee shop with its pink and white walls. He could smell the scent of coffee beans, saw customers sitting and enjoying books they probably purchased. Saw some people near the book shelves. He surveyed the coffee shop, then entered to check the aisles of book shelves. Sofia was nowhere in sight.

He bumps into someone, they gasp as the books in their hands tumbles to the ground. He's never seen this girl before. She has `long brown hair with blonde highlights. She has dark brown eyes, probably 5'6. She looks at him with shock until she schools her features.

"Sorry about that. I didn't see you there." She looks at him like she knows him. This isn't the first time that's happened.. maybe this is another of Sofia's friends.

"No, that's my fault." He looks at her awkwardly, unsure on how to begin what he wants to asks. "Does-does Sofia work here?" He asks, trying to be nonchalant. But his nerves got the best of him, he began tapping away at the bookshelf next to him. His gaze unwavering.

“Sofia.. yeah she does.” The girl says, the answer coming out her lips like pulling teeth. She didn’t glare at Rafe, the way the other girl he assumed now, was Sofias friend. But she did seem… hesitant.

“Is she here?” He asked. The girl only blinked at Rafe.

“Not today.” She says firmly, her eyes staring at the sprawled books on the ground. Rafe eyebrows furrowed.

“So she works here but she’s not here? Is it her day off?” Rafe was starting to get agitated. Why was she being so stand offish. He didn’t understand why she wouldn’t tell him where Sofia was?

“You could say that.” She bent over to grab the books from the ground.

“Liliana! Someone wants “Love Espresso!” Another girl says from behind the counter.

“Coming!” The girl, clearly named Liliana turns back to Rafe. “It’s best if you just leave her alone. Things clearly ended on a sour note for the two of you. Let it be.” With that, she walked off. Not sparing Rafe another glance.

Rafe stood there, a scowl on his face. Unable to believe that girl, Liliana, had just spoken to him like that. Did Sofia tell her what happened?

“No, I don’t think I would. You see, she’s my fiancée. I have every right to see her.” Rafe says, approaching Liliana. She was behind the espresso machine, trying to make the customer, this drink called “Love Espresso”, it sounded dumb to him. Childish even.

“Fiancée? Don’t you mean ex fiancée? Didn’t you promise her all these things just to kick her out and leave her practically jobless?” Liliana voice suddenly had bite to it. Rafe clenched his fist.

“You don’t know shit, okay. You don’t know what she did—

“Oh I know. You’re saying she deserved that? To be tossed aside by a kook? You didn’t even give her the opportunity to be heard out by you.” Liliana said, finished with her drink. Adding something he couldn’t see. She handed the customer. Who looked between them with wide eyes before paying and leaving.

“Just leave her alone, okay. You’ve done enough damage.”

With that, Rafe walked out the coffee shop angrily. How dare she talk to him like that? He knew how angry he could get. He decided to leave as fast as he could. Before he did something, he’d regret.

Song Sofia is listening to on her playlist

Song Rafe is listening to on his playlist

[touyas-back-lover]

I'm tired of this bullshit. Boiling about it.

I could face Touya's death with nothing but sadness, but noooooooo, this rotten writing had to make me angry too. Useless epilogue.

The time Touya was surviving in the machines had to be an extra time that would serve HIM. An extra time he could have been saved by Shoto with a decent and focused development. If it wasn't like that, why so many panels showing the child version of both of them? Wasn't it about reaching the heart? I hate being made a fool of by any piece of media. I'm not blind or retarded. Please, what a load of shit.

This extra time he was alive only served as suffering. There were PROBABLY conversations between Touya, Rei, Shoto, Fuyumi and Natsuo, but what was the outcome?? Did it help Touya? Did it save him? Or was it selfish ass lamentations like Enji???

Slow death without dignity and without any meaning. Right away for the man who turned the world upside down to see his existence having meaning.

Pure betrayal.

I feel betrayed for having paid attention to the story.

I don't want to take anything else from this manga with me. And I don't even know when I'll be able to face something from Touya without feeling down now.

This whole shit is disturbing, especially if you look at it from the point of view that the hero ranking that triggered Mideavor to start the whole fucked up Todofam lore to be number 1 still exists, and Touya hasn't received ANY JUSTICE AS VICTIM OF ABUSE. Not even legal consequences like put that garbage in jail.

I really wanted just to cry dramatically over Touya's death like a fucked up little girl, as if I was a teenager again. But nooooo, I'm BOILING as hell. (When i catch you hawks, when i catch you Enji and Hori...AHHHHG)

Touya was emptied, ignored, discarded and betrayed.

Everything now is incompetence and gaslighting.

[nexus-nebulae]

man.

[wickjump]

“Undertale and it’s FOUL community” STOP IT!!!!!!! IM MADE FUN OF ENOUGH!!!!! STOOPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!! (this kind of thing makes me so angry)

[manglw]

guh just finished playing dsaf 3 i am. mentally unwell

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it's only natural to feel anger when somebody isn't "taking your advice" or listening to you about their mental health or what will help them. People want to help people, and the anger comes when you are perceiving somebody as not being receptive but...

It can be a selfish impulse to say that your opinion about their illness is the only thing they need. It isn't about you, even though the advice you give is given by you.

Nobody deserves to suffer, this is true. But, also, nobody deserves to be forced to do things that either won't help or won't be genuine. If somebody isn't taking your advice, there's a reason for it (maybe it's not a good enough reason for you, but this isn't the point). It's okay to be disappointed or angry, but it's not going to help to lash out at them. That is only pouring water onto a grease fire.

[ozonecologne]

.

[carpp]

gonna say something about arcane that might piss people off but i think it needs to be said:

the reason so many people ignore vi's issues and trauma is because the show itself does so

[secondstar-acorn]

can I have a hug?

from who?

[danikatze]

[ID in alt text]

Another wip! It's kind of almost done :)

[arctic-hands]

My parents were shit to me as a kid but I'm like one hundred percent sure they never read my diaries, at least because I would have been in a hell of a lot more trouble if they had

Anyway I don't care how stellar your record as a parent is or how you're justifying this invasion, if you read your kid's diary without their consent you're an automatic piece of shit and your child has every right to never trust you again

[crowgore-throwaway]

Help I'm now hyperfixating on Mouthwashing

Here's what I wrote about it in my journal :P

[Spoilers for the entire story of Mouthwashing]

I think I could be developing a hyperfixation for Mouthwashing. I adore the themes, how it isn't cosmic or alien-based horror, despite taking place in space, but a story of human faults and evils. Jimmy's evil, acting out of greed and narcissism, feeling guilt but not taking accountability. The evil of corporations and capitalism, making 5 working-class people spend over a year traveling through space, just to deliver some mouthwash and subsequently laying them off, leaving the likes of Anya and (I say this reluctantly) Jimmy with no means to support themselves. All that time going stir-crazy, not even for anything important, just so some consumers can have their mouthwash. And Curly's evil, enabling Jimmy by being complicit, not taking Anya's issues seriously because Jimmy's *such* a good guy and Curly doesn't want to upset him. And that unconditional trust leads to him being completely unable to move or speak because he essentially allowed Jimmy to do whatever he wanted and have his little tantrum, putting the crew at risk to just to avoid a problem *he* caused.

Ugh, amazing game. I think it's more sad than scary. All those people dead- Daisuke, a kid in his late teens with so much life and opportunity ahead of him, dead because Jimmy took advantage of his positivity and need to do right by everyone.

Anya, violated and belittled, forced to follow the orders of the man who assaulted and impregnated her. She did whatever she could to protect herself while Curly, the leader she was meant to trust, did nothing. Until she could endure it anymore and took her own life. (I also saw a theory that she was attempting an abortion but overdosed) Jimmy doesn't even acknowledge her death, even with how terribly he hurt her. He just doesn't care about her, he doesn't see her as a person, but a tool.

Swansea, a father and husband. A man with faults, sure, but a man who can take responsibility for them. He owns his flaws and misdeeds and grows from them. Though he's broken and struggles with addiction, he's selfless. He's hopeful for characters like Daisuke and Anya, is a gruff mentor and trustworthy ally who heard Anya out. Jimmy couldn't stand to look Swansea in the face because he was a lot like Jimmy, except he actually took responsibility for the bad things he's done. So he killed him.

And finally, Curly, his friend, the man who believed he could be better, who trusted him, gave him chance after chance, until he was destroyed. Curly was too trusting, and Jimmy took full advantage. In the end, though, Jimmy couldn't stop piling his shit on Curly's shoulders, ultimately killing himself and cryogenically freezing Curly, leaving him the sole survivor in the event that the Tulpar is recovered. Which would mean, in the end, Curly would be the one still mopping up Jimmy's mess.

Seriously, play this shit its wonderful, and the art style is neat. Also, Daisuke is my favorite, I may have written about him the least, but he's such a ray of sunshine.

[tomwambsgans]

tom's expressions as he stares up at greg in the safe room in 2x4

[snorzyy]

people bitch about fan service but the second a show does something the audience doesnt like everyone goes apeshit. yes this is about izzy’s death, but it’s also about go2 when aziraphale left with the metatron. there’s a reason these things happen, and your favourite tv show isnt always going to go just how you want it to without flaws.